Sheeeeee’s Back

It’s a curse this blogging thing, because as I get caught up with printing for my show opening later this week (invitation to come) and some last minute assignments, I keep thinking about blog entries i should (should?) be writing. So glad i’m not Catholic, cause I have enough problems with unnecessary guilt (just ask my dog — was framing today with the dog at the shop and he kept whining and staring out the shop door, so sucker that i am i took him out [he must need to go bad!] little punk took me next door to the pet store where he planted his preppy ass in front of a bag of pigs ears and looked up at me with eyes full of desire, five minutes later and one bag of pigs ears and we’re back in business rockin’ and rollin’ on the framing – small price to pay i guess [just don’t ask the pig!]).

Anyway, whilst otherwise occupied, was tagged with one of those memes by Liz in which one is supposed to list 7 random things that noone knows about you, and pass the love on to 7 other people.

The Rules
1. Link to the blog of the person who tagged you.
2. Post these rules on your blog

3. List seven random and/or weird facts about yourself. [See below.]
4. Tag seven random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
5. Let each person know that he has been tagged by posting a comment on his blog. (i’ll let technorati take care of that).

Ok, here goes.

1. I had a farm in Lucky Fat. OK, It wasn’t quite a farm (stark wooden building think Paul Strand in To the Sugarhouse) and strictly speaking the name of the town was Tosontsengel, but that’s the Mongol name (where i served an ignominious year as a Peace Corps volunteer teaching English in the hinterlands). The town’s name translates into English something like “Lucky Fat,” which I think is just as telling as the fact that Eskimos have like a thousand words for snow. Unfortunately, during my tenure in Lucky Fat, I did not get lucky, but I did get fat.

2. I’ve picked dandruff off Ted Kennedy’s blazer. All in the name of duty. It happened not during a Capitol Hill nooner, as one may imagine (he is a Kennedy after all), but during a portrait shoot of the senior senator from Massachusetts for a book cover. I got my revenge when I informed him that the makeup artist we were employing got his start in horror movies. The Senator took it all in with equanimity, and unlike Monica, I did not save the evidence.

3. Speaking of Monica, I have what we used to refer to in college as an indirect off Monica, and therefore I am three people removed from sucking face (and then some!) with former President Bill Clinton. It was a short affair (for all of us). (And this was after Lucky Fat!)

4. Speaking of Bill Clinton, right after he was first elected, I almost busted up a double-date with him, Hillary, Al, and Tipper. I was enjoying some Jerry Jeff Walker live at the Birchmere with some friends in DC, when all of the sudden the lights dimmed, there was some commotion at the table next to me, and moments later I spied in the darkness one bomber jacket (remember that bomber jacket?) and four famous faces. Right. Next. To. Me. And. I. Had. Been. Drinking. For. A. Bit. Emboldened by my inebriated state, I made several passes by their table, in which I did not miss the opportunity to talk to them (this was also necessitated by the fact that I had to pass them on my way to the bathroom, and I needed to visit the loo on many occasions due to aforementioned state of sobriety). Well, as I said it was new in the administration, and the secret service played it very nicely with me, so much so that I managed to slip my number to Hillary, slurring “If you ever need any help with healthcare gimme a call.” To which I clearly remember her responding “Great!” (She is the consummate politician after all). Lest you think that Senator Clinton trolls for politically savvy employees at dive bars in Alexandria, fear not, I am still waiting for that call.

5. While in Mongolia, I regularly (once every three months) rode a Russian prop plane back to Ulan Baatar to p/u canned fruits (fiber), and one time, I was on the plane with 30 people, two goats, and three refrigerators filled with berries. By the time we landed it was 29 people, as one person, a prisoner being transferred to jail in UB expired en route. Good times!

6. I make Sean Penn nervous. This was clearly (if rudely) communicated to me when he mistakenly thought I was photographing him at the Vanity Fair after-party of the Washington Correspondents Dinner. (Hello, JFK Jr. is to your right, you moron, you think I’m photographing you?!!! NOT you obnoxious narcissist!). (BTW this is not a gig I enjoyed, and I refrain from doing them now, but one must start somewhere).

7. I am a veteran square dancer. Dancing with the Stars has got nothing on me. (Favorite dance: Ladies Bow, Gents Know How).

That’s it. I’ll tag Imke Lass, Kevin Miyazaki, Timothy Archibald, Alison V. Smith, Matthew Pokoik, Colin Blakely, and William Greiner (even though it doesn’t matter what he says, all that matters is what you see).